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= written by Amr Khaled =

  Khaldoun

Khaldoun

At the beginning I thought it was just a dream or a movie and that I would get up soon, go out to the streets, and return home to my family. Then this thought faded away and I began to live my reality.

 

You may wonder what " live my reality" means?

It means that the reality around me does not inspire life but in fact it limits it. The circumstances and limitations of my reality do not correspond with life. To understand me, come close to “see” me and don’t just “look” at me.   Yes, I am this body on a bed that looks like a hospital’s bed. My body is attached to a heart-lung machine. Yet, I am not in a hospital, but in my own home. Furthermore, this is not an emergency, but it is my life. This is the dream or the movie, which I was waiting to escape from and which I am now accommodated to. This has been my condition for10 years. Oh my God -- 10 years of difficult days and long painful nights. Come closer to know me better.   

My name is Khaldoun (Traditionally, native Spaniards in Muslim Spain used to add the suffix “oun” to Arabic names. Therefore Khaldoun is “Khaled” in Andalusian Arabic, and Khaled means “Eternal”) . They say that everyone gets a share of their name. Have I gotten from my name "eternity" this hard condition? I believed that for a while, but now, I’d love to believe that my share of my name is being like Ibn-Khaldoun, a founder of a new life science. Could it be that I’m the founder of how to live a normal life while in an abnormal condition? Could it be that I’m providing a path for those who will come after me, and whenever they lose their way they can remember me and thus become encouraged?

 

Allah has bestowed me with the best of all mothers. She didn't only feed and dress but she also taught and encouraged me. I don't know how to describe her. She is indeed a very unique person. When I was young, crawling on the ground, she was watching me with compassionate loving eyes, teaching and following me. She has helped me to excel in everything, be it studies or sports. She taught me that life is success, and that success is strong will. She has trained me to have a strong will and I haven’t let her down and became her successful son. I got my baccalaureate in 1994 and I was preparing to go to college with grades that would qualify me to study medicine. Instead, I chose computer and technology engineering.  

 

I was, a young man that had started his life with effort, work, and commitment. Once, during one of the summer days in Taratoos beach, I was preparing to sail with a small boat since my mother had taught me to challenge the difficulties because only the high peaks are worthy of climbing.

However, Allah's fate prevailed as my head hit the hard seabed, and all my body weight caused a small bone to broken. I don't know how all this happened. All that I remember is that a lot of people were around me, holding me up and saying "to the hospital". And from one hospital to another, from Damascus to Russia, one doctor after the other, surgeries and equipment.  I won’t waste your time with the details. My mother was beside me the whole time. She didn't leave a stone unturned to help me recover, and she exerted all efforts so that I could finish my studies until she died, leaving me with my father and my sister. May Allah reward her greatly.

This was my final verdict. Quadriplegia. I cannot use my arms, fingers, or feet. I cannot even breathe by myself since my diaphragm is also paralyzed. In a nutshell, I am a living head on a dead body exploring the world with my eyes and connecting with those around me with my tongue and ears.

Such reality would have forced anybody like me to forget about his life and simply wait for his death. His best prospect would have been being satisfied with Allah’s fate and not envying those who live normal lives. But I am not like that, since my mother has taught me that life is success, and that success is strong will. And my will was still not paralyzed. Allah has blessed me with a loving family and helping friends, and so I learned computer programming and 3D animation.

 

You will, of course, ask me how can I manage using the computer without hands or fingers. I am using my tongue and lips, they still move! Indeed, it was not that easy and I passed many stages trying. My family and friends were trying with me to fix the mouse and re-invent it for long days and months. My lips became irritated because of the material used in the mouse, whereas my eyes also became irritated. The medicines and creams that I used, increased more and more. However, I didn't lose hope until it reached a suitable and relatively comfortable way to use the mouse.

This is not everything since I also am perfecting what I am doing. I have excelled in the field of C++ programming and I am now working for an owner of a giant children-oriented project. He has tested me and I have passed the test and have become one of programmers in his business. I am not unemployed. I am working and always looking forward to promotions and nothing will satisfy me but success.

Excuse me. All people hate boasting, but I have nothing to say but what I really did and am doing. I am proud of my success and I just hope to meet Allah on The Day of Judgment, thanking His blessings, satisfied with what he gave me, and what he took and I am saying to Him,  “O My Lord, give me a tongue that mentions you frequently, a heart that thanks You and a body that forbears afflictions and this is my humble achievement with what you have bestowed on me. Indeed. I want it to be perfect to be worth your pleasure.”

I think I am accomplishing my dream to reality and I am waiting for all of you, those who came before me and those who will follow me, to the peaks of Success!

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