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= written by Amr Khaled =

7 *   Spinsterhood

Spinsterhood

An article written by Mr. Amr Khaled for Almara’a Alyawm Magazine (The Woman Today) dated 4.5.2004:

The fields a Muslim woman can pursue to benefit her community and religion without affecting her main duty towards her husband, and towards her house, which is the well up bringing of her children, has always been our great concern.

We’ve discussed in our previous articles some aspects women can pursue to be effective in their society. Today, we will present other aspects. But before that, we need to remember the one basic rule that we have based our discussions on in the previous two articles and in our future articles, which is, Spend 1 hour per day for the Ummah (Islamic Nation) and Islam or our religion.

Now, what do you think of spinsterhood? It’s definitely an awkward phenomenon that has spread throughout our Islamic society in a very disruptive and alarming rate! Needless to say, a phenomenon such as this has many etiological reasons and a lot of intervening factors that we cant go through in details in this article. But we will attempt to focus on the main factor, in my point of view, which has caused this to be a widespread phenomenon and also try to find a solution for it or reduce its implications. We will do all this while applying our basic rule, which is: one hour per day for the Ummah and Islam.

The main reason for spinsterhood is poverty; it starts from the inability of finding an apartment, to being unable to furnish it (if the apartment), to not being offered a dowry, or wishing for an expensive wedding gown but not being able to afford one. These are the reasons we will focus on in our discussion to include our women in solving this problem.

Now let’s imagine the following scenario: A young man who is capable of marriage and is looking for a wife is not at all financially stable on his own; all his earnings include his petty salary, which can barely afford living expenses. And on the other side, there is a young woman who has lived in deprivation with her family all her life…not a pretty picture! Let’s imagine if we included a strong, determined, Muslim women who takes it on her responsibility to marry this destitute couple! Is it possible by implementing our basic rule? Women always chatter on the phone.

By using the same share of chattering, they can convert this use of time to serve Allah’s purpose and to solve this problem with each other.

I’m urging every Muslim woman to call six friends daily, especially those women who rush to Allah’s cause to do good to mankind, and narrate the problem she saw with this couple and ask for anything they can donate or help with to give to this destitute couple. It can be an old fridge, a prehistoric washing machine, ancient spreadsheets, cups, and mirrors even if cracked, mattresses, long forgotten clothes. Anything at all a house can need to be furnished.

I imagine that if only one woman truly puts this task to her heart and uses her chatting skills in a useful manner so that she must have called at least 180 other women, and if we presumed that only a quarter reacted to the problem and wanted to help (around 45 women) it would still be a great statistics and the outcome of gifts and donations would be in abundance even if not in a balance. For example, they still would need other things to buy, but they more than likely probably received a particular thing more than once; its still manageable by selling what they don’t want to buy what they want!

Sincerely, what do you think of this solution? Don’t be a prisoner of conventional thinking and dismiss this idea as not common and has never been done before! Didn’t we agree to the rule that one-hour per day for the Umma and the religion can help build more positiveness and optimism in our environment instead of the miserable reality we are facing!

This Muslim woman has done all she could in marrying her sister in Islam to her brother in Islam, not to mention the great deed she has endowed on them that has put love, mercy and stability and safety between them. Her assistance is countless; thus, she did a great deed for Islam itself! She cut short Satan’s path and closed shut all the doors and windows that could have made the couple become driven to their earthly desires where no dignity would remain; every honor would have been lost and vengeance flames would have lit up and the list can go on!

The society that is full of this transgression and wrongdoing amongst its members is a society we can neither demand or even expect any religious acts from, nor can it be devoted to a country or a religion or a cause at all! It’s already engulfed in desires and in earthly needs, which will set them all ablaze at the end with its scorching flame, leaving them a helpless wreck. And what have they gained? Can we compare this society with a society, which has based all its actions and deeds in fear of Allah alone, and His chosen path? And what’s best than that the founder of all this is to be a Muslim woman who gave one hour from her day to the Umma and her religion! Compare which of the two is more beneficial to Islam.  Listen to the verse that can be translated as, “Which then is best? He that layeth his foundation on piety to Allah and His Good Pleasure? Or he that layeth his foundation on an undermined sand cliff ready to crumble to pieces? And it doth crumble to pieces with him, into the fire of Hell. And Allah guideth not people that do wrong”.  (TMQ, 9:109)[1].

To all those who took part in this sincere job have not only called for the good deed, but they have joined it and their reward will defiantly be good.

“ Is there any Reward for Good other than Good?” (TMQ, 55:60).

To be continued and May Allah bless you all.

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