Paradise in Our Homes - II
Episode 4
In the name of Allah, the All-Merciful, the Ever-Merciful. All praises be to Allah and prayers and peace of Allah be upon Prophet Muhammad (SAWS).
Today I feel like a teacher who have been worried all year long from a certain lesson, and today’s episode is that lesson. Today’s lesson is very critical. Some of the very important ethics that we have are starting to decompose at the roots. However, the top is still good. Anyone who is trying to face these problems should either talk about ethics in details and stop the shallow talk. Most of the people prefer the shallow talk, as it is less risky. If we continue like this, all the ethics will crumble, which is why we need to talk in depth. This is why yesterday’s episode, as well as today’s, is about the youth and sex. We will be talking to both the parents and the youth.
Today’s episode will discuss the dangers of the wrong sexual relations between the youth and Allah’s anger and the future of the girls and boys. Things will change in your character that will not be fixed again.
Do you know how Allah’s anger can happen because of a wrong sexual relationship? Did you notice how many times Allah (SWT) warned us from it? What can be translated as, “… and males who preserve their private parts and females who preserve their private parts…” (TMQ, 33:35). “And do not come near to adultery; surely it has been an obscenity and odious as a way.” (TMQ, 17:32). The prophet (SAWS) once warned all muslims from adultery. The prophet then said that there are six results for the person who commits adultery, three will happen in this life time and three in the hereafter. The first of the three in this life is dimness of the face. The face will be dark and ruthless. Ibn Masoud said that sins cause darkness in the face.
The second trait is the shortness of life. Even if you do live long, you will not feel it. The time will not be blessed and it will pass by very fast. A wrong sexual relation will make your life shorter, either in actual years or in the outcome of those years.
The third trait is the constant need for people and being poor. This is due to the fact that by committing adultery, you humiliate another family. So if you do this to them, then you will be humiliated too, and keep needing people. Allah (SWT) is merciful, but there are things that He does not forgive easily, and this is one of them.
As for the results in the hereafter, one of them is the anger of Allah (SWT). Can you imagine that Allah (SWT) is angry at you? The second one is the bad judgment on the Day of Judgment. The third one is torture in hell if the person did not repent.
The prophet (SAWS) said that men rise on the Day of Judgment like they died. So if a man died while in Hajj, then he rises glorifying Allah. What about who died committing this sin? Can you imagine the humiliation. Allah says what can be translated as, “Today We seal up their mouths, and their hands speak to Us, and their legs testify to what they have been earning.”(TMQ, 36:65). He also says what can be translated as, “And they will say to their skins, “Why have you testified against us?” They will say, ” Allah has caused us to pronounce (words), Who has caused everything to pronounce (words). …” (TMQ, 41:21). Imagine the situation on the day of Judgment when a voice says, “adulterers stand up”, and all the adulterers stand up. Can you imagine how humiliating it will be. Imagine the scale of the good deeds, like any help to the poor, hajj, and taking care of your mother, and then in the bad deeds, imagine what will come up! Imagine the prophet calling you because you are one of his nation, and then the angels come and pull you away and the prophet (SAWS) that you did many bad deeds after he died. Then the prophet gets very angry at you and doesn’t want to see you anymore.
The prophet once said that two angels woke him up and showed him a very big oven with people inside it screaming, men and women, hanging with fire beneath them. When the prophet asked who they were, he was told that they are the adulterers.
Notice that even though Allah (SWT) is very merciful, when it comes to this sin, He says what can be translated as, “…and let not compassion for them (both) take (hold of) you in the religion of Allah” (TMQ, 24:2). Allah likes to hide people’s sin, but in this case He says what can be translated as, “and let a section of the believers witness their (The torment of the two of them) torment.” (TMQ, 24:2).
This sin messes with the order on this earth. It causes the diminishing of families and regression of growth of a healthy society, so when the devil comes on the Day of Judgment he will say that I am better than mankind. He wants to prove that he is better and that you don’t deserve to be honored. The prophet once said that it is better for a man to be hit by a metal string in his head than to touch a woman that he is not allowed to touch.
Now let us talk about what this sin can do to your future. If you are a boy, you will lose five things. The first thing is that you will get used to this style of life. When you get married, you will not be able to live without this sin. You will not know how to deal with your wife. Then you will cheat on her, and then your home is ruined. The prophet once said that three men Allah (SWT) does not look at on the Day of Judgment, one of which is an old man who commits adultery. He didn’t do this out of nowhere, but he grew up doing this sin.
The second thing is that you will lose the blessing of being with a respectful beautiful girl who will make you happy in this life and in the hereafter.
A third thing that you lose is your will. You will not be able to control yourself since you have a weak character. You become weak and humiliated. I will give you a good example that you can follow. He is prophet Yusuf. He is a young handsome single and strong man . He is also a stranger in the country, which makes this sin easier. He is also a slave, which could have been another excuse. Moreover, she was a rich beautiful woman whom he serves. She closed the doors and kept trying to seduce him. Do you have this will that prophet Yusuf had? She tried so many times, and he was even inside her house. After all this, he said in a very strong voice, “… Allah be my refuge… !”(TMQ, 12:23). She says, in what Allah says, “and indeed I readily solicited him, yet he safeguarded (his chastity); and indeed in case he does not (perform) what I command him, indeed he will definitely be imprisoned, and indeed he will (really) be of the ones belittled.”He said, “Lord! Prison is more beloved to me than what they call me to;” (TMQ, 12:32-33).
You might say that it is an old story of a prophet, and we are far from this. I will tell you a story that happened with a carpenter in our country who went to a house to work and a woman of that house did the same things and when he ran to the door, she was angry and took a gun and said if you don’t do what I tell you I will kill you. When she said this, he stood there and said the shahadah. When she saw this, she pushed him out of the house. The man went out crying that he did what prophet Yusuf did! Try once to say no and to have a strong will. If you stand strong once, Allah (SWT) will help you.
To the girls I say two points. Girls are stronger than boys in this matter. Girls have a stronger will, and more self control. This sin mainly happens in the name of love. There is a rule that I was surprised when I found it in many of the psychology books. The rule says that a woman gives sex for the sake of love, while a man gives love for the sake of sex. So a woman wants love, and the man gives her the love to get what he wants. I tell girls that if this rule is outside of the borders of marriage, then it is wrong.
When boys sit together they point at girls and say, “this one is for marriage but this one is for fun”. The one they say is for fun does not want to be like that but love makes her do it, love is acceptable but only if it leads to marriage. Boys give love bits by bits until they get what they want. They become thieves! I saw this a lot in my life. Take care girls, don’t lose your future. To those who married Órfi, I heard many stories of girls who married in this way and lost many things. I did not meet one girl who got married this way and lived happily ever after. It never happened.
Another important thing that you will lose is your chastity. Because of chastity, Mariam is the Lady of all Women. The Quran gives an example to all humanity by this woman. Allah says what can be translated as, “And Maryam (Mary) daughter of Imran, who kept safe her private parts”. (TMQ, 66:12)
The prophet used to pray for chastity every day. Fatema bint Qays was there when the prophet was asking people not to do sins and then mentioned that they should not commit adultery. When she heard this she covered her face out of embarrassment. Lady Aisha had to stay covered in her house after Omar Ibnul-Khattab was buried there. Lady Mariam wished she was dead and forgotten when the angel came to her, shy from the thought that people can think of her. A woman asked the prophet to pray for her not to have an epileptic fit again. The prophet gave her the choice of praying for her or being patient and going to heaven. She chose patience, then she came back to him and told him that when she gets the epileptic fit some parts of her body show. To this the prophet prayed that she wouldn’t be uncovered and she never was again. See how important this is.
Even birds and animals know chastity. The dove does not allow any male other than her mate to come near her! This word is very strong, but it is getting smaller and smaller. The prophet himself was more chaste than a virgin on her wedding day! If you are embarrassed from your friends, don’t be because you are like your prophet (SAWS).
We now reached the end of our episode today, but I want to tell you something nice on www.amrkhaled.net . We have a questionnaire for girls and boys that will be very helpful with some advice at the end for both girls and boys.
As for the parents, don’t treat them in a humiliating way. Don’t hurt them and be too strict. You should be friends with your children, and give them love and respect.
Next, we will talk about something even more difficult.
Thank you.
The word Allah is the Arabic term for God. Although the use of the word "Allah" is most often associated with Islam, it is not used exclusively by Muslims; Arab Christians and Arabic-speaking Jews also use it to refer to the One God. The Arabic word expresses the unique characteristics of the One God more precisely than the English term. Whereas the word "Allah" has no plural form in Arabic, the English form does. Allah is the God worshipped by all Prophets, from Adam to Noah, Abraham, Moses, Jesus and Muhammad.
SAWS= Salla Allah alayhe Wa Salam [All Prayers and Peace of Allah be upon him]
SWT = Subhanahu wa Ta'ala [Glorified and Exalted Be He]
TMQ=Translation of the Meaning of the Qur'an. This translation is for the realized meaning, so far, of the stated (Surah: Ayah) of the Qur'an. Reading the translated meaning of the Qur'an can never replace reading it in Arabic, the language in which it was revealed.
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