Magazine Articles

= written by Amr Khaled =

5 *  The tribute paid to women 3

The tribute paid to women as wives by Islam (3)

Moving on to another aspect of paying tribute to women as wives; namely, the 'mahr' (i.e., obligatory dowry money paid by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), which some people have rumored that it stands for the price men usually pay to get their pleasures from women.

So are the expenses spent by men on their wives… are husbands allowed to get tightfisted towards their wives, had the latter rendered them irritated?

The article, published in 'Al-Yaqdha' magazine on 31^st Dec. 2003, and written by Mr. Amr Khaled is as follows:

Islam has paid tribute to women through committing husbands to give their wives their rights of having their dower before the wedding.

Some have rumored that it is nothing but a price paid for the pleasures usually given by women to men. I, personally, am in favor of the view that says that the mahr (dowry) stands for the gift presented by men to their women, in order to build the bridges of love and affection between them. The reason why I am with this view is due to the word 'nihla' which is found in Surat An-Nisaa in the verse that can be translated as, “And give to the women their dower with a good heart”. (TMQ, 4:4)[1].

Though the price of this 'nihla' is none other than the feelings the one who is giving the dower to his wife shows, and his wishes of honoring her. This very gift (dower) is something women must never be deprived of, for it shows how respectful she is to her husband.

Thus, Islam prohibits Shighar, (a sort of marriage in which a man gives his daughter in marriage on the condition that the other gives his daughter to him in marriage without any dower being paid by either). As far as Islam is concerned, turning a woman's marriage into a reciprocal lucrative bargain, which takes her feelings for granted, is absolutely out of the question. It is totally against the tribute Islam pays to women as wives. (Ibn Umar (May Allah Be Pleased With Them) said that Allah's Messenger (May Allah's Peace and Blessings Be Upon Him) prohibited Shighar which means that a man gives his daughter in marriage on the condition that the other gives his daughter to him in marriage without any dower being paid by either) (Bukhari and Muslim). One can sense how valuable is this tribute, once he/she learns about the way other ancient and modern peoples oblige women to be the ones who pay dowry to the husband.

I shall move on to another aspect of Islam's paying tribute to women as wives that is the money spent by a husband on his wife. As far as Islam is concerned, a husband is obligatorily committed to provide food, clothing, accommodation, and access to health care for his wife in accordance with his environment, time and financial budget, regardless of his wife's riches and wealth; the wealthy according to his means, and the poor according to his means.

Confirming this right, the Prophet (May Allah's Peace and Blessings Be Upon Him) said, "you shall bear the cost of their food and clothing (your wives) on equitable terms" (on the authority of Abu Dawood and Ibn-Maja). Also, Allah (SWT), in Surat At-Talaq says what can be translated as, “Let the rich man spend according to his means, and the man whose resources restricted, let him spend according to what Allah has given him. Allah puts no burden on any person beyond what He has given him”. (TMQ, 65: 7).

Many prophetic traditions not only determine this responsibility, but also command husbands to be as generous as possible to their wives and children, which are thought to be good deeds for which husbands will to be rewarded. Abu Mas'ud Al-Ansari reported Allah's Messenger (May Allah's Peace and Blessings Be Upon Him) as saying, "When a Muslim spends on his family seeking reward for it from Allah, it counts for him as sadaqa". (Bukhari and Muslim).

 Islam is not trying to render the money a husband spends on his family to a fine. Nor does it want him to make his wife feel that it is so. For, a husband's spending money on his wife out of generosity reflects how much he respects her sense of dignity and pride.

In order for Islam to prove this notion and implant it inside each and every married man's soul, Allah's Apostle (May Allah's Peace and Blessings Be Upon Him) said,  “Of the dinar you spend as a contribution in Allah's path, or to set free a slave, or as a Sadaqa given to a needy, or to support your family, the one yielding the greatest reward is that which you spent on your family". (Muslim)

Suppose that a Muslim man was irritated by his wife, and got so infuriated. Is he allowed to get tightfisted towards her, had he wanted to take advantage of the situation and the fact that she is in need of his money?

Absolutely not, for it is shameful, vile and even sinful to do so! If one wants to correct something wrong, it should stem out of the Qur’an, not out of his own prejudice and affliction, which would instigate him to wrong and harm others.

This is the nobleness that we have learned from Islam, in terms of the legislation and the lifestyle the virtuous ancestor of this nation used to lead. Had others proved the reverse, it would be them who are suffering from flaws, not Islam, which would be held evidence against them, and which has conferred honor upon women as wives.

AmrKhaled.net © جميع حقوق النشر محفوظة
This Article may be published and duplicated freely for private purposes, as long as the original source is mentioned. For all other purposes you need to obtain the prior written approval of the website administration. For info: dar_altarjama@amrkhaled.net