Patience

In the name of Allah[1], the All-Merciful, the Ever-merciful. All Prayers and Blessings of Allah be upon our master, the most noble Prophet Muhammad. We praise Allah, thank Him, seek His help, guidance and forgiveness. We seek refuge in Allah from the evil in our souls and the sinfulness of our deeds. “Whomever Allah guides, then he is right-guided, and whomever He leads away into error, then you will never find for him a right-minded patron” (TMQ, 18:17)[2].

Today we are going to deal with one of the most essential manners our religion dictates, patience.  Often, young men come to me complaining that they are unable to lower their gazes. I always tell them to be patient, but alas, they think I only say it to end our conversation, and so, they never take this advice seriously.

Some say that they keep trying to perform fajr (dawn prayer) and qiyam (voluntary night prayer). To them too, I say, be patient.  Unfortunately, most of us think that patience in performing such acts of worship on a daily basis can never be a practical way of life. The word ‘patience’ itself is incredibly practical.  People forget that patience is one of the bases upon which rests the system of heavens and earth. Not only does it apply to humans, but it is also a cosmic rule; the whole universe is based upon the concept of patience.  Think about the fetus in its mother’s womb and the different, consecutive phases of its development.  Think how you grow up day after day.  Think about plants and how they grow; as they do not sprout suddenly.  Do you see now how all that is in the universe is based on the concept of patience and gradualness?  Even Allah (TWT)[3] created heavens and earth in only six days, though He (TWT) could have created them in a single day, in the twinkling of an eye, or even faster than that.  However, that would have deprived us of benefiting from the wisdom of it. 

By creating heavens and earth in six days, Allah wanted us to realize that patience is not merely a human behavior, but rather everything in the universe is based upon the principle of patience.  Nothing can be accomplished without patience.  To achieve success in your career, you must bear 16 years of education.  To become closer to Allah, you must patiently maintain good deeds. Giving up sinful deeds, such as smoking, requires patience, determination and firm self-discipline.

Therefore, scholars say that ‘Perfection in life and faith relies on patience.’ For example, bravery cannot be a trait of an impatient person.  Construction of canals and dams cannot be carried out without patience, let alone building whole countries.  The realization of economic development plans depends on patience.  Being dutiful to one’s parents regardless of what they coerce one into is actually a sort of patience.  In case they ask you to do things you are not keen to do, you will need patience.  Likewise, shortcomings in faith take place when similar ones in patience exist.  Adulterers are so because of their impatience to be abstinent.  If drug-addicts were a little more patient, they would not have sought this way to escape from their problems. 

It is said that the soul is the mount upon which one rides to either Jannah (Paradise) or Hell, and that patience is its bridle.  Your soul’s bridle is patience; you should always remember that if you give it full rein, it will lead you to wherever it wills. The literal meaning of patience is constraint.  Being patient then means that one puts oneself under constraint in order to carry out righteous deeds, to abstain from sinful actions, or to accept without frustration and constant complaining in times of affliction.

Patience in the Qur'an

Patience is mentioned more than 90 times in the Qur'an.  No other moral value is mentioned as much, not even truthfulness or honesty.  The word is mentioned in the imperative form in the Qur’an.  For example, Allah (TWT) also says what can be translated as, “And seek help in patience and prayer” (TMQ, 2:45).

If you wish to be close to Allah, then be patient.  If you achieve that degree of closeness, you will hardly have any reason to fear committing sins.  Allah says what can be translated as, "Surely Allah is with the patient" (TMQ, 7:46), and as, "And indeed We will definitely try you with something of fear and hunger, and diminution of riches, and selves, and products; and give glad tidings to the patient" (TMQ, 2:155).  It is Allah here Who gives glad tidings.  This ayah makes me wonder how great it must be what Allah promised the patient.

Allah (TWT) says what can be translated as, "Surely (the) patient will only be paid their reward in full without reckoning” (TMQ, 39:10).  Scholars of Qur’anic Interpretation explain, “Without reckoning” as endless rewards poured onto the patients’ scale.  The reason why the patient receives such a reward is that they never complain about the hardships they face.  It is because they never say, “O our Lord! Why have you done this to us?" that Allah gives them endless rewards.  As they do not look for explanations for Allah’s fate, Allah does not call them to account in return.  Therefore, satisfaction with Allah’s fate is one way of ensuring His satisfaction in the afterlife.

Patience is the only deed whose reward is endless.  We all know that the reward of a single good deed shall be ten-fold, and that of giving charity may be even 700-fold. However, no one knows where the limit of reward of patience lies.

Also, Allah (TWT) says what can be translated as, "And Allah loves the patient" (TMQ, 3:146).  Knowing that Allah is with the patient and loves them is enough to encourage people to endure.  You will have the power to quit smoking, obey your parents, connect your severed ties of kinship, and resist gazing at what you are not allowed to look at, if you simply bear that in mind.

Moreover, Allah (TWT) says what can be translated as, "And We made from among them leaders guiding by Our Command, since they (endured) patiently and had certitude in Our signs"  (TMQ, 32:24).  This ayah is about the Jews during one of the periods in which they were compliant.  Allah in this ayah says that leadership and supremacy depends on two props: patience and certitude in Allah.  The torn Muslim ummah (Muslim nation) will not attain leadership over all nations except through patience.  Patience is not only illustrated through performing the different acts of worship. Patience can be in focusing on reform and improvement of production, while abstaining from sins, handling distress, and putting ultimate trust in Allah, as well.

Allah (TWT) says what can be translated as, "And indeed he who (endures) patiently and forgives, surely that is indeed (an act of true) resolve concerning His Commands" (TMQ, 42:43).  It is an act of resolve then when you have patience over an offence and forgive those who hurt you.

Allah urges believers and messengers to have patience.  He (SWT) addresses the Prophet, saying what can be translated as, "So (endure) patiently, as the Messengers endowed with resolve (endured) patiently"(TMQ, 46:35).  Patience here turns from being an insubstantial theory into a tangible practice to adhere to.

Allah stresses patience in his advice to the Prophet Muhammad (SAWS)[4] and his ummah, "O you who have believed, be patient, and vie in patience, and be garrisoned (i.e., Keep a standing army ready to defend you) and be pious to Allah, that possibly you would prosper" (TMQ, 3:200).

The Qur'an stresses that among the things Allah dislikes is feeble patience.  For example, a sister observing her hijab[5] would start doing so believing that she would be fed up and take it off one day.  This type of patience is not accepted in Islam as Islam encourages the patient to be strong.  Allah (TWT) says what can be translated as, "And indeed We already covenanted with Adam earlier, yet he forgot and We found in him no resolve" (TMQ, 20:115). It is most crucial for a person to have strong resolve.

Addressing the Prophet (SAWS), Allah (TWT) says what can be translated as, "So (endure) patiently under the Judgment of your Lord, and do not be as the Companion of the Whale (Prophet Yûnus “Jonah”) as he called out, as he (was) made to choke (inwardly).  Had there not overtaken him a favor from his Lord, indeed he would have been flung off upon the naked shore (i.e., the wilderness) (while) he was a reprobate" (TMQ, 68:48-49).

The stories of the prophets in the Qur’an always end with the moral that is to be understood from the stories.  Surat Yusuf and surat Hud conclude with many morals.  At the end of Surat Nuh (Noah), Allah says what can be translated as, "So (endure) patiently; surely the (fair) end is for the pious" (TMQ, 11:49).  Through this story, Allah tells the Prophet (SAWS) to learn from those who were patient before him as their end is most certainly “fair”.

Allah also teaches us that victory shall not be granted to the Muslims unless they persevere in following the right path.  Allah describes in Surat al-Baqarah the confrontation between Jalut (Goliath) with his army of non-believers and Talut (Saul) with his army of believers.  At the end of the story, he says what can be translated as, “(But) the ones who expect that they will be meeting Allah said, “How often a little community has overcome a much (larger) community by the permission of Allah; and Allah is with the patient." (TMQ, 2:249).  Allah says in a later ayah what can be translated as, "So they routed them, by the permission of Allah" (TMQ, 2:251).

Allah also says in Surat al-Anfal what can be translated as, "In case there are twenty of you, patient (men), they will overcome two hundred" (TMQ, 8:65).  According to this ayah, victory is conditional on the element of patience.  If you have the patience to abstain from sins, worship, study, work, and behave yourself with your parents, then be certain that you will succeed in what you are doing.  Do not blame ‘deep-rooted habits’ for your behavior; but rather you should train yourself to be patient.

Allah (TWT) says what can be translated as, "And similarly many a Prophet there has been along with whom myriads manifold have fought; so in no way did they feel feeble for whatever afflicted them in the way of Allah, and in no way did they weaken, and in no way did they yield themselves; and Allah loves the patient" (TMQ, 3:146).  The victory of religion also relies on patience.

Patience has its due share of the Prophet’s (SAWS) hadith[6].  He (SAWS) said, "Patience is light."[7] The Prophet does not say that patience is proof, strength, or resolve because afflictions are essentially darkness. The loss of a loved one or an organ can easily darken one’s view of the world.  Moreover, the Prophet (SAWS) said, "Nobody can be given a blessing better and greater than patience."[8]  Hence, nothing you attain in life is better than patience, be it an expensive car or an important post for example.

The Prophet also said, “Indeed amazing are the affairs of a believer! They are all for his benefit, and this not for anyone but a believer. If he is afflicted with a hardship, he perseveres; and this is best for him and if he is granted ease of living he is thankful; and this is best for him.”[9]  This privilege is only accessible to the believers who are unconditionally grateful to Allah.  Allah’s Most Beautiful Name, The All-Patient, is enough to make us proud of our patience, even if there was no special reward for patience.  Allah did not choose other forms of the word patience, such as ‘Patient’ or ‘the Patience,’ because ‘the All-Patient’ refers to constant, unconditional patience.  It is hence a divine patience that is beyond human comprehension.

The Prophet (SAWS) says, "None is more patient over offending words (he hears) than Allah.  They ascribe a son to Him whereas He gives and provides them with sustenance."[10] Indeed, there is no god to be worshipped except The All-Patient.  A wife may complain about her in-laws’ ill-treatment forgetting about Allah's patience with His creatures when  He is the The Eternal Owner of Sovereignty, The Supremely Hegemonic, and He who, when he destines something, only says to it "Be" and it is. 

The population on earth is approaching 6 and a half billion.  Though many of them do not worship Him, Allah, the All-Patient and the Ever-Forbearing, never vents His anger on them. Imagine that there come nights during which every human being is indulged in sins, yet Allah chooses to be patient with them instead of punishing them.

Even the other creatures denounce what happens on earth and complain to Allah.  No day passes in which the sea does not complain to its Lord, saying, "O my Lord! Allow me to drown the children of Adam since they eat what you provide them and worship other than You.”  Likewise, the mountains say, "O our Lord! Allow us to collapse over the children of Adam since they eat what you provide them and worship other than You.  The earth also says, "O my Lord! Allow me to swallow the children of Adam since they eat what you provide them and worship other than You.”  Yet, Allah replies, "Be patient with them. If you had created them, you would have had mercy over them.”  Allah says what can be translated as, "Surely Allah holds the heavens and the earth (so) that they do not cease to exist; and indeed in case they cease to exist, decidedly no one would hold them both after Him"  (TMQ, 35:41).  The Prophet (SAWS) was completely right when he said, "None is more patient over offending words he hears than Allah."  Now, this should fill you with the need to always look up to the attributes of Allah.

Scholars say patience constitutes a major part, or literally half, of faith.  Faith is nothing if not perseverance in doing good deeds and abstaining from sinful ones.  Life itself is a series of blessings and afflictions for which one thanks Allah.  The other half of faith then must be gratitude.  In times of blessing, people are required to worship Allah through their gratitude and compliance, whereas in times of affliction, people should worship Allah through patience.  One worships Allah properly only when one succeeds in doing so at both times and in both ways.  In a single ayah (verse), Allah talks about the performers of both types of worship; "Surely in that are signs indeed for everyone (who is) most patient, constantly thankful" (TMQ, 14:5).

Faith is like a body whose head is patience.  If the head is cut off, then the body is dead.  If you have no patience to pray and want to fulfill a desire instead, then do as you wish because for your faith then is headless!   

The type of patience Allah wants us to have is "The Becoming Patience;” Allah (TWT) says what can be translated as, "So (endure) patiently with a becoming patience" (TMQ, 70:5). Ya'qub (AS) (Jacob) says what can be translated as, "So, patience is becoming." (TMQ, 12:18).  The becoming patience is one that is not accompanied with annoyance, worry, boredom, or complaint.  Becoming patience is blemished with the slightest sigh or grimace.  One’s face should show nothing but complete satisfaction, even if the heart is in pain, or the eyes are welling up with tears.  We are only human and we cannot hide our sadness, but the least we can do is keep our hearts patient.

Becoming patience is also positive patience.  For example, a young man who does not have the means to marry and who bears the situation and never stares at women is not positively (or becomingly) patient unless he works hard to secure all he needs to get married without clinging to patience while doing nothing else.

Now, there are three types of patience:

Patience in abstaining from sinful deeds

Patience in performing good deeds

Patience through afflictions

He who fulfills the three types is a true patient.  Unfortunately, there are those who are patient through Afflictions, but not strong enough to resist committing sins. Others may perform qiyam (night prayer) and fast voluntarily, and yet, they cannot help but pursue the desires that lead them to sinfulness.  There are also those who are patient through afflictions and blessings and perseverant in their abstinence, but they do not have the patience to worship Allah.  Only whoever abstains from sins, worships Allah, and is grateful to Allah unconditionally attains perfect patience, and consequently, half of faith.  Allah says what can be translated as, "Surely (the) patient will only be paid their reward in full without reckoning." (TMQ, 39:10).

People mistakenly think that patience through affliction is much more difficult than patience through blessings.  However, patience through affliction is inevitable, while patience through blessings is optional.  It is up to us to decide whether to lower our gaze or not.  Yusuf’s (AS) (Joseph) affliction with imprisonment is, therefore, more difficult than Ayyub’s (AS) (Job) affliction with the loss of his money, health, and children.  Yusuf (AS) chose to be thrown in jail in order to avoid sins, while Ayyub (AS) had no choice.  Moreover, Yusuf’s (AS) patience through his affliction with his brothers’ envy, which landed him in the depth of a bottomless well, is not equal to his patience through his affliction with imprisonment for the same reason.

To conclude, perseverance in performing acts of worship and abstaining from sins is more sublime than withstanding affliction for two main reasons:

1- Our raison d'être is worshipping and knowing Allah through the several forms of worshipping.

2- A single good deed is equal to ten-fold.  Yet, the single forbidden deed is equal to only one.  Good deeds must please Allah so much, then.  If a person’s good deeds are equal to his sinful ones, then he should have equal chances of ending up in Jannah or in Hell.  Nonetheless, Allah (TWT) says in a hadeeth Qudsi[11] what can be translated as, "Indeed, my mercy exceeds my wrath,"[12] which gives us hope in Allah’s mercy, but should not give us reason to sin lightheartedly.

Therefore, the ranks of patience in order are: Patience through performing good deeds, patience through abstaining from sinful deeds, and finally, patience upon afflictions.

Patience through affliction and all predestined matters:

Afflictions include death of loved ones, illness, ill-treatment of others, poverty, children’s problems, and misunderstandings with spouses.  Death of loved ones is the most difficult of these afflictions, notably more difficult for women, who naturally get hurt more deeply, than men.  The following ahadeeth are a source of inspiration to those who lose their loved ones.

Some women said to the Prophet (SAWS): "O Messenger of Allah! We cannot attend the lessons you hold due to the large number of men attending, so, set aside a day for us to attend.  The Prophet replied in the affirmative, and on the day that he was preaching them, he said, "No woman offers three of her children except that this would be a barrier between her and the hellfire (i.e. Three of her children die while she is still alive).  A woman asked, "O Messenger of Allah! What if she loses just two? Will she be saved as well?”  He replied, “Yes, she will.”[13]

The Messenger of Allah (SAWS) said, "When a person's son passes away, Allah asks the angels, saying, ‘Have you taken the life of my worshipper’s son?’  The angels reply, ‘Yes.’ Then He says, ‘Have you taken the apple of his eyes?’”  See how merciful Allah is even when He afflicts His servants! “They respond, ‘O our Lord! We have.’  Then, He says, ‘What was the reaction of My servant?’ They say, ‘O our Lord! He has praised You and said, ‘To Allah we belong and to Him shall be our return.’’  Then Allah (TWT) says to them, ‘Build for him a house in Jannah and call it the house of al-Hamd (the praise).’"[14]

Those who lost loved ones-fathers, mothers, brothers, friends, or mentors–must be really encouraged and relieved by the hadeeth Qudsi, in which Allah (TWT) says what can be translated as, "I shall reward my slave whose best friend dies and who struggled with patience with nothing but jannah.” [15]  Hence, patience over the distress of death can be a reason for one to go to jannah.  Houses in jannah can be built with one’s patience.

On the Day of Judgment, the children who died shall refuse to enter jannah without their parents.  They shall say, “O our Lord! We shall not enter without our parents.”  Allah (TWT) shall then reply, “Take your parents by the hand and enter jannah together.”  This is a reason for us to reconsider our view of affliction.  The beauty of patience lies in the place to which it directly leads—Jannah!

Endurance of illness includes all kinds of illnesses: the pettiest and the severest alike. Ataa' Ibn-Aby-Rabah narrates that Ibn-‘Abbas asked him, "Shall I show you a woman of the people of jannah?" I said, "Yes." He said, "This black lady” - the criteria applied in our worldly life are different from those in the hereafter.  “She came to the Prophet (SAWS) and said, 'I get attacks of epilepsy and my body becomes uncovered; please invoke Allah for me.' The Prophet (SAWS) said (to her), 'If you wish, be patient and you will have (enter) Jannah; and if you wish, I will invoke Allah to cure you.'  She said, 'I will remain patient,' and added, 'but I become uncovered, so please invoke Allah for me that I may not become uncovered.' So he invoked Allah for her."[16]  See how shy she was?  Many women nowadays are keen on revealing their bodies on purpose!  But that woman won Jannah.

Allah (TWT) says in a hadeeth Qudsi what can be translated as, "If I afflict a slave of mine with his two beloved things (the eyes) and he has remains patient, My reward for him would be nothing but the jannah."[17]  The Prophet (SAWS) also says, “Allah may forgive the sins of a believer due to one night of fever he goes through.”  Thus you could suffer from colic one night, and then wake up the following morning with your all sins forgiven.  All these ahadeeth are a reason for us to savor our pain, and not only endure it, as patience will only bring us closer to jannah.

Ibn-Mas’oud (RA) disappointed his listeners once when he said, “No one is rewarded when stricken by affliction”, however, he pleased them when he finished his sentence saying, “afflictions rather eliminate sins.”

Yazeed Ibn-Maysara, a Follower[18], once said, “A person who is not religious falls sick and his pain makes him go back to Allah and perhaps when his eyes well up with tears as he pleads for Allah’s mercy, Allah purges him from all his sins.” At this point, all I can say is, we should change the way we view pain and diseases.

The Prophet (SAWS) had a deep cut in his finger once during a battle.  He looked at it and said, “Are you but a finger that bled, and what you got is in Allah's cause?"[19].

The Prophet (SAWS) then comforted himself with the idea that it was all for Allah’s cause.  Now though the sight of blood usually distresses us, it should still remind us that it is a mercy and blessing in disguise.  That is why the Prophet (SAWS) used to pray for the ill saying, "It is purification if Allah Wills"[20] i.e. may Allah purge you of sins for enduring this pain.  For this reason, it is of sunnah (the Prophet’s tradition) to say this when visiting the ill.

Enduring the ill-treatment of people is another type of patience.  For example, one would endure a sharp-tongued neighbor, an unpleasant mother-in-law, a faultfinding parent or spouse, or an intolerable rival.  The following illustrates the virtue of endurance.

When Allah (SWT) gathers the creatures on the Day of Judgment, a caller would say, “Let the people of merit arise”  They would be few and they would rise and hurry towards jannah.  The angels would stop them and ask, “Who are you?” They reply, “We are the people of merits” The angels would then ask, “What is your merit?”  They would say, “If oppressed, we would endure, if harmed we would forgive and if insulted we would be patient” The angels would then say, “Enter jannah, the best reward for good doers”.

The Qur’an encourages us to endure insults rather than insulting others back.  Allah says what can be translated as, “And indeed he who (endures) patiently and forgives, surely that is indeed (an act of true) resolve concerning His Commands." (TMQ, 42:43).

A man once came while the Prophet (SAWS) was dividing the spoils, and said, “Be fair, O Muhammad. This is not a division for the sake of Allah.”  But the Prophet (SAWS) would say, “May Allah Bless my brother Musa (Moses) with His Mercy, he suffered much more than that and endured it".

Allah also says what can be translated as, “And We have made some of you to be a temptation for (some) others.  “Will you (endure) patiently?” And your Lord has been Ever-Beholding” (TMQ, 25:20).

Patience is required in every experience in life.  We are addressing endurance of affliction at this point, but endurance is not limited to it.  Enduring the sadness students feel when their parents unplug computers and T.V. sets during exam periods for example, is related to what we are talking about.  The Prophet (SAWS) says “A Muslim is not afflicted by hardship, sickness, sadness, worry, harm, or depression—even if pricked by a thorn—but Allah erases some of his sins because of that".[21]

The Prophet (SAWS) also says, "Affliction may continue to befall a believer in his body, property, or family until he meets Allah burdened with no sins."[22]

It is difficult to disregard such rewards.  Allah does not test disbelievers with affliction.  On the contrary, He allows them a life of prosperity that is void of affliction, to deprive them the chance to escape His wrath.  In this regard, Allah says what can be translated as, “Until when they exulted with what was brought to them, We took them (away) suddenly; then lo, they were dumbfounded.”(TMQ, 6:44).

When the Prophet (SAWS) was asked about the most afflicted among people, he said, “The most in their suffering among the people are the prophets, then the best (among people), then the (next) best.  One is afflicted in accordance with his faith.  If his faith is firm, his affliction is solid, and if his faith is weak, his affliction is light.  Indeed, one would be so much subjected to adversity until he walks among the people without any sins.”[23]

The advantages of Affliction:

1-               To increase one’s rank in jannah; which can be inferred from the hadeeth above.  One cannot expect one’s good and righteous deeds to surpass Allah’s blessings or compensate for one’s sins.  However, a distressing affliction that is inflicted upon one of us could guarantee him/her a rank in Jannah that their deeds do not qualify them for.

2-               To set apart the different ranks in a practical way.  Though Allah has prior knowledge of how each of us would behave, He rises above judging us by His knowledge alone.  His limitless mercy makes Him judge us by our deeds.  When Allah judges us by our deeds, He makes our limited human brains witness their own deeds and accept their ranks later.  Affliction, therefore, shows the difference between the good people and the imposters.  Allah says what can be translated as, “Or (even) did you reckon that you would enter the Garden and Allah does not as yet know (i.e., has not yet proved, tested) who of you have striven, and that He may know the patient?” (TMQ, 3:142).  He also says what can be translated as, “In no way indeed will Allah leave out the believers in whatever (state) you are till He discriminates the wicked from good, and in no way indeed will Allah (allow you) to view the Unseen” (TMQ, 3:179).

3-               To save humankind of the vainglory that could creep into their psychological makeup if they are never faced with obstacles that function sometimes as a reminder of their absolute need to Allah.  In this light, the afflictions we meet are signs of Allah’s mercy, as they always lead us back to Him when our heads are lowered in beautiful submission to the Creator to ask him to relieve us of our troubles.

4-               To fill us with longing to jannah, as the afflictions with which our lives abound make us think of the delightful life we are promised in jannah.

5-               To remind us of Allah and of His endless blessings.  Afflictions give us a chance to remember Allah’s blessings and thank Him for them.

6-               To make us submit to Allah’s will and accept it, as Allah loves those who submit to Him.

7-               To show us the glory of Allah as He disentangles the afflictions keeping us from moving on. Situations in which Allah delivers us from hardship are clear manifestations of the Most Beautiful Names of Allah: the Ever-Merciful, the Ever-Powerful, and the Ever-Affectionate.

Examples of affliction-forbearing People:

Ayyub (AS) (Job) led an opulent and vivacious life for 80 years.  He had 14 sons and daughters and he was adored by his fellow villagers.  In a glance, his sons and daughters died, he lost his property, and he was afflicted by a serious illness that forced him to stay at home as his skin started falling apart.  People feared catching the disease so they deserted him.  Only his loyal wife remained by his side.  After eighteen years of grateful patience, during which the Prophet (AS) spent all the money he had left and his wife had to work as a maid to support them, the loyal wife asked him to pray to Allah to relieve them of their suffering.  Ayyub (AS) said, “Allah filled eighty years of my life with blessings.  I cannot ask him to deliver me from this unless I spend eighty similar years in patience and gratefulness”.

Until now we have always associated Ayyub (AS) with patience.  About Ayyub (AS), Allah says what can be translated as, “Surely We found him a patient (man).  How excellent a bondman he was! Surely he was a constant resorter (to Us).”(TMQ, 38:44).  His wife actually had to sell her long braided hair in order to make money.  When Ayyub (AS) discovered that, he prayed to Allah to deliver him saying no more than what can be translated as, “Adversity has touched me, and You are The Most Merciful of the merciful” (TMQ, 21:83).  He did not say that he has had enough, nor did he complain.  Allah says what can be translated as, “Then We responded to him; so We lifted off the adversity that was upon him, ...”  (TMQ, 21:84).  While Ayyub had 14 children before his affliction, he was blessed with later 28.  This exact number was concluded from the following ayah where Allah says what can be translated as, “…and We brought him his family and the like of them with them” (TMQ, 21:84).  This means that Allah doubled his 14 sons and daughters.  Allah also restored his health and wealth.  This story makes me wonder why we say “Why Allah?!” when something as petty as a car breakdown happens.

Yusuf (AS) (Joseph) is another famous affliction-forbearer.  His brothers envied him so much that they almost killed him.  They dropped him in a bottomless well in the middle of nowhere.  The rescuer sold Yusuf, the descendent of the prophets, as a slave to an Egyptian minister.  Yusuf (AS) was estranged from his family and homeland for twenty years because he was too young to know the way back.  The minister’s wife desired him and tried to seduce him.  Then, he was thrown in prison for about nine years and finally, he was afflicted with the wealth and rank the king bestowed upon him.  Moreover, his father was also afflicted by his loss.  Observe the amount of affliction in their lives.

Omran Ibn-Husayn (RA), a companion, had a severe disease that made him stay at home for years.  His friends always used to weep upon visiting him, while he used to say, “Whatever pleases Allah pleases me.”

Another example of patience is that of a woman whose hand was cut.  Yet, she smiled saying that the sweetness of reward surpasses all pain. 

One example is that of Umm-Sulaim (RA).  She and her husband had only one son.  One day, the boy fell sick and while his father was out late at night, her son passed out.  As weeping all night would have done her no good, the forbearing Umm-Sulaim, decided not to distress her husband with the bad news, and instead, suffered in silence.  Her husband came home to find her dressed up and well groomed.  He asked about the boy and she equivocally said that he “calmed down.”  They spent the night together and in the morning, the wife asked him, “If our neighbors asked us to give them back a thing they entrusted us with, would you give it to them?”  The man answered without hesitation, “Yes.”   She asked, “Even if the thing had been with you for such a long time?”  Her husband said, “All the more reason to give it back.”  Then, Umm-Sulaim said, “Allah took back his property, your son.”  Can all Muslim women that unique example in patience?

Conditions of Patience:

1-               One has to act with patience as soon as one is struck with bad news or afflicted with a trouble.  The Prophet (SAWS) passed once by a woman who was weeping beside a grave.  He told her to fear Allah and be patient.  She said to him, "Go away, for you have not been afflicted with a calamity like mine."  And she did not recognize him.  Then she was informed that he was the Prophet and went to his house and said to him, "I did not recognize you." He said, "Verily, patience is at the first stroke of a calamity." [24]

2-               At that moment, one should say “Surely we belong to Allah, and surely to Him we are returning.  O Allah, recompense us for our loss.”  When Umm-Salamah’s (RA) husband died in the Battle of Badr, the Prophet (SAWS) told her to say this prayer.  She wondered what and who could be better than a martyr like Abu-Salamah, not knowing that Allah would give her the Prophet (SAWS) for a husband.  This indicates the importance of this prayer.  I believe one should say it when afflicted with the pettiest troubles even when losing a pen.

3-               One should not complain or express annoyance when faced with troubles. You are of course allowed to express your grief to others and inform them of what happens to you, but beware of talking as if you are complaining from Allah.

We should be patient at all times.  Men in particular must always remember the following hadeeth as it talks about the way they should see their wives.  The Prophet (SAWS) said, "A believer (a husband) should not dislike a believer (his wife), for if he saw some manners he disliked from her, he would see some other manners he would like"[25].

It is a common problem to have men complaining about their wives and maybe planning to re-marry.  Yet, when cornered, they would confess that nothing is really wrong with their wives then give some trivial reasons.  Allah says what can be translated as, “Surely (the) patient will only be paid their reward in full without reckoning.” (TMQ, 39:10).  He (SWT) also says what can be translated as, “Then it is possible you may hate something, and Allah sets in it much charity (i.e. benefit).” (TMQ, 4:19).  Hence, men who do not like something about their wives should be open and clear; they should help their wives fill any gaps and avoid any undesired behavior. 

I would like to draw your attention to the importance of patience through the ups and downs of life.  One of the companions (RA) says, “We were able to maintain our patience during affliction, but we could not do so when blesses with affluence.”  This happens to many of us, unfortunately.  The moment one has enough money to obtain what one wishes, sinning becomes rather trivial.  Yusuf’s (AS) patience as a minister was much more difficult than his patience as a prisoner because affliction with blessings is not as direct as affliction that with distress.

Patience in abstinence from sins:

This part is particularly directed to young people.  Here is the best example of complete abstinence in the face of the most successful sexual temptation there ever was.  Yusuf (AS) had half the beauty of all human beings; healthy, young, and strong.  Over and above that, Yusuf (AS) was both a stranger and a slave, which means that he was free from the constraints society places on its members and he was not responsible for whatever his masters forced him to do.  The woman who seduced him was not unattractive herself; she was a beautiful noble woman and she did everything in her power to lure Yusuf (AS).  Allah (SWT) says what can be translated as, “And (she) bolted the doors (on them), and said, “Come! Everything is ready for you (i.e., take me)” (TMQ, 12:23).  Moreover, she threatened to throw him in jail if he did not obey her. 

However, all these temptations and threats were to no avail.  Yusuf’s answer was “Allah be my refuge!”, while many young people nowadays seek sins with their own free will.  The story of Yusuf (AS) leaves no excuse for those who sin.  Indecent channel on one’s TV set are much less seductive than a beautiful woman living under the same roof and saying what can be translated as, “Come! Everything is ready for you.” (i.e., take me).”  Yusuf’s (AS) courageous response is described in the following ayah; Allah says what can be translated as, “And indeed I readily solicited him, yet he safeguarded (his chastity)” (TMQ, 12:32).  Thus, one should not allow oneself to lose control regardless of the circumstances.

Allah (SWT) says what can be translated as, “Adorned for mankind is the love of lusts, for women and seeds, (Or: sons) and heaped-up, heaps (Literally: “arched” hoarded cantars) of gold and silver, and horses of mark, and cattle and tillage.  That is the enjoyment (Literally: the belongings) of the present life; (Literally: the lowly life, i.e., the life of this world) and Allah has in His Providence the fairest resorting”, “Say, ‘Shall I fully inform you of a more charitable (thing) (Literally: the belongings) than that? (Literally: the lowly life, i.e., the life of this world) For (the ones) who are pious (to Allah), from the Providence of their Lord, are Gardens from beneath which Rivers run’ ” (TMQ, 3:14-15).  Shouldn’t heavens beneath which rivers run be enough for us to encourage us to be patient and abstain from sinning?  What is quitting smoking for example compared to this?

I know of a highly esteemed man, by the way, who was able to quit smoking in two weeks after being a smoker for 40 years.  The man heard about the wonders that dua’a (supplication) can do and started asking Allah (SWT) to help him, and Allah (SWT) granted him what he wished.

One should be patient and confident that Allah will help him/her quit sinful habits.  One should not befriend those who could have bad influence on him or her, nor should they imitate people who daringly commit sins.  For example, a woman would keep pushing her husband to provide her with things he cannot afford until he commits sins to grant her what she wishes.  Allah says what can be translated as, “And do not definitely extend (Or: dilate) your eyes to what We have given pairs of them to enjoy- the flower of the present life (Literally: the lowly life, i.e., the life of this world) that We may tempt them therein” (TMQ, 20:131).

The story of Yusuf (AS) is the best example of patience in abstinence from sins.  Read Surat Yusuf and pay attention to this empowering ayah; Allah says what can be translated as, “Lord! Prison is more beloved to me than what they call me to.”  It is said that this Surah eases the pain of those who are depressed or tempted to sin.

Patience in obedience:

The story of Ibrahim (Abraham) and Isma’il (Ishmael) (AS) perfectly illustrates this kind of patience.  Out of the submission to Allah, the father decided to kill his own flesh-and-blood.  He actually placed the edge of a blade on his neck, while his son said, “O my (dear) father, perform whatever you are commanded; you will soon find me, in case Allah (so) decides, among the patient. As soon as they had both surrendered, and he dashed him upon his brow” (TMQ, 37: 102-103)  However, once their patience to carry out this act for Allah was proven, the blade did not cut.

How can anyone complain about qiyam (night prayer), and voluntary prayers when they know about this unique example of obedience?  Some are even too lazy to pray on time.  Ibrahim (AS) did not hesitate when Allah ordered him to sacrifice his adolescent son.  Likewise Isma’il (AS) did not hesitate in allowing his father to fulfill Allah’s command.  Instead, he said what can be translated as, “…You will soon find me, in case Allah (so) decides, among the patient” (TMQ, 37: 102)

Let us analyze the well-known hadeeth in which the Prophet (SAWS) said, "Allah will give shade, to seven, on the Day when there will be no shade but His. (These seven persons are) a just ruler, a youth who has been brought up in the worship of Allah (i.e. worships Allah sincerely from childhood), a man whose heart is attached to the mosques (i.e. to pray the compulsory prayers in the mosque in congregation), two persons who love each other only for Allah's sake and they meet and part for Allah's sake only, a man who refuses the call of a charming woman of noble birth for illicit intercourse with her and says, ‘I am afraid of Allah’, a man who gives charitable gifts so secretly that his left hand does not know what his right hand has given (i.e. nobody knows how much he has given in charity), and a person who remembers Allah in seclusion and his eyes are then flooded with tears." [26]

The hadeeth mentioned:

1-               A just ruler: though becoming a tyrant is easier and less demanding.

2-               A youth who has been brought up in the worship of Allah, i.e. one who obeys Allah since childhood; recites Qura’n, prays, performs dhikr (the remembrance of Allah), and asks for forgiveness.

3-               A man who gives charitable gifts so secretly that his left hand does not know what his right hand has given; i.e. one who hides his good and righteous deeds to be rewarded.

4-               Two persons who love each other only for Allah's sake and thus helped and supported each other out of their love in Allah.

5-               And a person who remembers Allah in seclusion and his eyes are then flooded with tears.  That is the one who is patient enough to keep the secrecy of this moment to be rewarded on the Day of Judgment though he had the option of boasting of it.

It is quite clear that all of the above are examples of patience with obedience.  Patience can also be in befriending the pious.   Allah says what can be translated as, “And (suffer) yourself to (endure) patiently with the ones who invoke their Lord in the early morning and nightfall, willing to seek His Face, and do not let your eyes go past them, (i.e., overlook them) willing (to gain) the adornment of the present life; (Literally: the lowly life, i.e., the life of this world)” (TMQ, 18:28). 

Other examples of patience in obedience:

Allah (SWT) says what can be translated as, “And command your (extended) family to (observe) the prayer and constantly (endure) patiently in it.” (TMQ, 20:132).  One has to give advice to and direct one’s family patiently, especially in performing qiyam (optional night prayer).  Omar Ibnul-Khattab used to wake up to pray qiyam half and hour before fajr (dawn) prayer.  He used to wake his wife and children up every time, saying, “And command your (extended) family to (observe) the prayer and constantly (endure) patiently in it” (TMQ, 20:132).