Humility

In the name of Allah[1], the All-Merciful, the Ever-Merciful.  All Prayers and Blessings of Allah be upon our Master, the most noble Prophet Muhammad.  We praise Allah, thank Him, and seek His help, guidance and forgiveness. We seek refuge in Allah from the evil in our souls and the sinfulness of our deeds.  “He whom Allah guides, he alone has found the right way; whereas for him whom He lets go astray thou canst never find any protector who would point out the right way.” (TMQ, 18:17)[2].

We agreed in our previous session that behavior is always disposed to change and improvement.  We also reviewed the importance and the merit of good manners.  We learned that the Prophet's (SAWS[3]) ahadith which had adjectives such as better, deeper, inclusive, etc. were mostly describing good manners.

Let us start today with the virtue of "humility.”  Humility or humbleness has two meanings. The first meaning is to accept the truth from any person conveying it.  Many people have a problem accepting the truth when it comes from those who are younger than them and they only accept it from those who are older or better in status.  We must reflect well on what I'm saying because we decided at the beginning of these sessions to think practically.  To sum this point, we should accept the truth no matter who conveys it to us, whether he is weak or strong, rich or poor, noble or commoner, a relative or not, a friend or an enemy.

The second meaning is to be modest in the way you treat people.  You should be kind to people, whether servants or masters, rich or poor, noble or common.  You should treat all human beings tenderly and cordially.

So, from where then did I get these two definitions?  What is the opposite of humility?  It is arrogance, right?  So what is arrogance? The Prophet (SAWS) says, "Arrogance is disdaining the truth (out of self-conceit) and contempt for the people.”[4]  What does this mean?  Disdaining the truth is not accepting it, right?  So, humility would be "to accept the truth.”  Showing contempt toward people is to be conceited with the improper thinking that you are much better than them.  So this is how I came to the above definition for humility.

The Grace Of Humility:

·        The Prophet (SAWS) said, "…. no one is humble (for the sake of Allah) unless Allah raises him [in rank].[5] " Don't we all love the person who has reached a high position in his life while he is still humble in conduct?  Don't we all hate that same person if he treats people with contempt and arrogance?

·        The Prophet (SAWS) said, "He who is humble for the sake of Allah by a degree, Allah will elevate him one degree, until he reaches the highest degrees and he who is arrogant toward Allah, Allah will lower him one degree until he reaches the lowest of low degrees.”[6]

·        The Prophet (SAWS) said, “Allah revealed to me that we should be humble amongst ourselves and none should show arrogance toward others.”[7]

·        The Prophet (SAWS) said, "Allah (SWT[8]) says, He who is humble toward Me like this (and he lowered his palm to the ground until it was leveled with it), I will elevate him like this (and the Prophet (SAWS) raised his palm upwards facing the sky until it was high up)[9].”  Look at the Prophet’s depiction!

The Prophet (SAWS), said: “He who has in his heart the weight of a mustard seed of arrogance shall not enter paradise.”⁹ Read this Hadith very carefully!  Look into your heart and ask yourself if your heart has but the size of a mustard seed of arrogance in it.  If you do have any arrogance in your heart you will be deprived from paradise, even with all your praying, fasting, zakat (mandatory alms-giving)[10] and attending religious lessons.  Beware of arrogance!

·        The Messenger of Allah (SAWS) said: Allah (SWT) said: "Pride is my cloak and Might is My robe, and he who competes with Me in [respect of] either of them I shall torment him"[11].

·        Among the teachings of Luqman to his son in Qur’an, Allah says, "And turn not your cheek away from people in [false] pride, and walk not haughtily on earth: for, behold, Allah does not love anyone who, out of self- conceit, acts in a boastful manner.”  (TMQ, 31:18).”  The word used in Arabic for 'turn your cheek away…in [false] pride’ is tusa’ir which is taken from an illness that afflicts camels named sa'ar. When they are afflicted with this illness their necks are twisted and they never return back to the normal position.  It is like Allah is warning you not to turn your cheek lest your neck would stay in this position and it would never return to its normal position.

·        In another ayah Allah (SWT) says, "And walk not on earth with haughty self-conceit: for, verily, you can never rend the earth asunder, nor can you ever grow as tall as the mountains!" (TMQ, 17:37).  Son of Adam, be humble; you won't own anything forever, so why are you conceited?

The Humility of the Prophet (SAWS):

The Companions of the Prophet (SAWS) used to say that whenever the Prophet (SAWS) shook anyone's hand, he would not withdraw his hand until the other person withdrew his hand first. He (SAWS) would give his full attention to anyone greeting him, not just by shaking his hand but also by turning his whole body in his direction.  Upon entering a room he would sit at the first vacant place and he was always cheerful and smiling. Try to at least control these points like the Prophet (SAWS) to be humble as follows:

1.When you shake somebody's hand, do it while looking into his eyes.

2.When you shake somebody's hand, don't withdraw your hand until he withdraws his.

3.Don’t shake with your fingertips, because this is considered arrogance.

Love the Prophet (SAWS)!  Yearn to see him and sit with him!

A man went to meet the Prophet (SAWS); he was trembling with fear thinking that he was about to meet a king.  The Prophet (SAWS) said to him, "Calm down, I am not a king, I am but the son of a Qurayshi woman who used to eat Qadid (dried meat).[12]”  Have you ever said anything like that before?  Did someone ever come to meet you, fearing your status, only to find you saying that you are but the son of a simple peasant!!  Subhan Allah, some people just wish they had weak and scared people under their thumbs just to order them around.

The Prophet (SAWS) used to ride a donkey while he was very capable of riding a horse!  Why? Because he wanted to be humble before Allah.  At times when he could choose between a mule and a horse and he would still choose the mule.

I hope you don't misunderstand my words, thinking that I want you to demean yourselves.  But there is no harm at all in depriving yourselves, from time to time, just to be humble before Allah and to teach your heart some humility and selflessness.

On the day when Khaibar was opened to Islam, the Prophet (SAWS) came back to Madinah victorious and everybody went out to meet him.  What did the Prophet (SAWS) do?  He got off the horse that he was riding and asked them to bring him his mule.  Then he mounted the mule to enter Madinah on it!

It was narrated that whenever the Prophet (SAWS) was walking and a young maid would come and hold his hand, he would not withdraw his hand from her.  He would even walk with her until she bought what she needed and return back with her hand in his.  Did you ever do anything like that with your younger brother?  You might even make fun of your brother if he ever asked you to do such a thing. And we see the Prophet (SAWS) doing this with a simple little girl. 

On the day of the battle of the trench, the companions were all digging and breaking stones.  This duty was the most important during that day.  The meanest and toughest duty, that day, was to remove the broken stones and sand from the trench.  So what did the Prophet (SAWS) choose to do?  He chose the second job.  The companions said that the Prophet (SAWS) carried gravel and sand out of the trench until his whole body was covered with sand and dust.

Now tell me—have you ever washed the dishes for your mother before? Or you always see this as something far beneath you?  The Prophet (SAWS) used to help in the household chores; he used to get their necessities from the market, sew his own clothes, fix his own shoes, milk his goat, etc.  This is the Messenger to the whole of mankind!  The first one to set foot in paradise! Yet, see how simple and humble he is?

On the day of Khaibar, about twenty women accompanied the army.  The Prophet (SAWS) found a young girl walking among the ranks so he called to her because she was too young to be by herself.  He took her behind him on his camel.  The companions said that when he wanted to rest, he got off the camel first, brought the camel down, then he took the young girl’s hand and helped her to the ground.  When the battle was over and the Muslims won, the Prophet (SAWS) was dividing the booty while his eyes were searching for the girl.  He found her and asked her to approach.  When she came, he got a necklace from the booty and gave it to her insisting to put it round her neck himself.  That girl, after she grew up, used to say, "By Allah, the necklace has never left my neck from that day and I asked that it be buried with me so that if I meet the Prophet on the Day of Judgment I will come to him with the necklace around my neck and I will tell him, 'Here is the necklace, O Prophet of Allah, remember the necklace!'"

Do you have these traits in you?  Do you treat your employees, or anyone in a position subordinate to you, with this decency?  If you don't, then you should know that you have arrogance in your heart and you are not following our Prophet's Sunnah (the Prophet’s tradition).

How should the Prophet (SAWS) have entered Makkah after the Islamic victory[13]?  His head was cast down in humility before Allah.  Those who saw the incident described it as "…until we saw his forehead almost touching the back of the camel"! 

Could you be that humble on the day of your greatest victory? On the day you got promoted or graduated, where you that humble?  The Prophet (SAWS) entered Makkah for the first time after 13 full years and after he had been abused and forced to leave it, he entered with his head downcast in humility to Allah, at the moment of his supreme victory!  Can you imagine that?

One day the companions went out with the Prophet (SAWS) and on the way they became hungry and wanted to eat. One of them said, "I'll light a fire.”  Another one said, "I'll do such-and-such.”  The Prophet (SAWS) said, "And I'll gather firewood.”

The Humility of the Companions:

Abu-Bakr (RA[14]) used to sweep and clean the house of a very old woman when he was the Caliph of the Muslims while we are ashamed to clean even our own houses.  A girl often says to her mother that she's at university now and she has much more important things to do than washing the dishes or cleaning.

Abu-Bakr (RA):

One of the newly converted former enemies came to him once and asked him to give him some property as charity.  Abu-Bakr gave him a contract for a piece of land and asked him to get an endorsement from Omar Ibnul-Khattab (as a witness).  So he went to Omar and told him to sign as witness on the orders of the Caliph.  At that Omar said, "By Allah, you used to take this by force when Islam was weak, but now Islam is strong.  I will not sign this.”  Then he took the piece of paper and tore it to pieces.  This man then returned to Abu-Bakr and told him what Omar did commenting at the end, "Which one of you is the Caliph anyway?"  So, Abu-Bakr replied, "By Allah, it is his if he wants it.”

Now what would you do if something like this happened with you?  You would lose your temper and say, "How dare he?  I am the Caliph!"

Even Omar Ibnul-Khattab was so humble, he used to say, "I wish I was but a tiny hair on Abu-Bakr's chest.”  Can you say that sentence about any of your competitors?

Omar Ibnul-Khattab (RA):

When Omar was the Emir of the believers (Caliph), he was visited once by a delegation from Iraq under the leadership of al-Asnaf Ibnu-Qayes.  They were surprised to find Omar in the barn cleaning the animals with his own hands.  At that, Omar said to al-Asnaf, who was one of the dignitaries of Iraq, "O Asnaf, why don't you come and give the Emir of the believers a hand?"  Al-Asnaf replied, "May Allah bless you O Emir of the believers.  Why don't you order one of your slaves to do this?"  Omar replied, "And which slave is that?  And who is al-Asnaf?  Don't you know that he who becomes the leader of the Muslims must become to them like the slave to a master?"

Ali Ibn Abi-Talib (RA):

Ali was sitting once with his son, Muhammad, and this was his son from another wife, named Al-Hanafiah, not Fatima the Prophet's daughter.  His son asked him, "Father, who is the best of all Muslims after the Prophet of Allah (SAWS)?"  Ali replied, "It is Abu-Bakr."  His son asked, "And who next?"  Ali replied, "It is Omar Ibnul-Khattab.”  His son then reported that he was afraid to ask any further lest Ali's reply would be, "Next is Othman Ibnu-Affan", so he asked him instead, "And then you?"  So Ali replied, "No my son, I'm but a simple Muslim among all the others."

Al-Hussain ibn-Ali (Ali's son from Fatima (RA) and Muhammad (son of Al-Hanafiah) had a fight once and they did not talk with each other for a long time.  So Muhammad sent a written note to Al-Hussain in which he said, "Dear brother, it's been so long since our fight and you are better than me and your mother is better than mine.  I heard the Prophet (SAWS) once saying, 'the best in you is the one who first initiates peace'. I don't want to start lest I be better than you; so please start initiate it yourself."  Look at the humility!  Could you behave like that when you have a fight with one?

Zaid Ibn-Thabet (RA):

Keep in mind that Zaid is the one who first gathered the Qur'an.  He was once riding his camel when Abdullah Ibn-Abbas (nephew of the Prophet (SAWS) and scholar of the Muslim nation) came and took the bridle to lead the Zaid's camel saying, "This is how we were ordered to treat our scholars.”  Zaid came down quickly and kissed the hands of Abdullah saying, "This is how we were ordered to treat the members of our Prophet's family.”

Among the amazing examples of humility was Imam Al-Shafei[15]:

He used to say, "We drank the water of Zamzam seeking more knowledge (i.e. with the intention of gaining more knowledge). Had we drunk it for piety (taqwa), it would have been far better for us."

He also used to say, "I love the virtuous believers (as-Saleheen) and I am not one of them.  Yet I wish that I could gain their intercession.  I hate the one who trades in sins, though he and I are the same in merchandise."

He also used to say, "Don't raise your head too high, lest Allah would reduce you to the low level you deserve.  Don't you see that those who lower their heads below the roof will be shaded and shielded by it, and those who try to raise their heads above the roof will be injured by it?"

So, how to be humble?

Some Examples of Humility in Our Lives:

Humility in dress:

This does not mean that you have to dress shabbily or wear torn cloths.  On the authority of Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud, "…A man went to the Messenger of Allah (SAWS) and said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, truly I love my dress to be fine, is this a kind of pride?’ He (SAWS) answered, ‘Indeed, Allah is Graceful and He loves Grace’.”[16]

Thus, what we should stay away from are extravagant clothes, as this would be showing excessive pride.  However, if you dress elegantly with the intention of giving a good impression on the devout Muslims, this is accepted, even favorable.  Be careful though, especially the ladies.

On the authority of ibn-Omar, the Prophet (SAWS) said, "While a man was walking, trailing his robe out of pride, he was caused to be swallowed by the earth and will continue to sink until the Day of Resurrection.”[17]

The Prophet (SAWS) said, "He who sets aside his garment in humility to Allah (AWJ[18]) while he is able to buy the most expensive of garments will be called by Allah on the Day of Judgment and in front of all other human beings.  Allah will then ask him to choose whatever garment of faith he wishes to wear."[19]

This however does not mean that we should give up having any nice clothes.

Humility with servants:

Listen to this part of one of the Prophet's Ahadith, "… (Your slaves are) your brothers whom Allah has put under your command. Feed them with what you eat and dress them with what you wear. Do not ask them to do things beyond their capacity but if you do so, then help them.”[20]

Abu-Hurairah reported that the Messenger of Allah (SAWS) said, "When anyone’s servant prepares food for him and serves him after having sat close to (and enduring) the heat and smoke, he should make him (the servant) sit along with him and make him eat (with him), and if the food seems to run short, then he should spare some portion for him (from his own share)."[21]

Please be careful of the way you treat your servants.  A housewife might ask her maid to clean the whole house, then prepare food for a whole banquet, then clean the house one more time after the guests leave.  She might not be able to endure all this work!  On top of that, it's even possible that the housewife would treat the maid harshly.  Beware of how you treat them because Allah is telling you that they are "under your command.”  Be humble to Allah in the way you treat your servants.

Humility in furnishing your house:

Many marriages have been destroyed because of the many difficulties imposed by the couple’s parents over the household furnishings. Ali Ibn-Abu-Taleb reported that, "When the daughter of the Prophet, Fatima, was promised to me and we got married, we went to our house and by Allah we had nothing in it but a rug made of sheep-hide and a pillow stuffed with palm fiber.”  I'm not asking you to compare yourselves to that because both the environment and the time are totally different, but these two items were mentioned by Ali (RA) were considered to be very modest compared to what was available at that time.  Later on, Allah bestowed many blessings on Ali and he was able to complete his home furnishing.

Humility with needy relatives:

Remember your needy relatives and start with them. Visit them often and don't consider yourself to be keeping the ties of kinship if you are merely sticking to the wealthy relatives and ignoring your needy ones.

Humility with those who are lower than you in social and educational status:

We often hear some of our youth boasting, "I'm an AUCian.[22]  There's a big difference between me and this Faculty of Commerce graduate [of a regular University]."  Don't do that.  Don't flaunt your education or your certificates.

Humility with your teachers:

We often make fun of our teachers and professors.  Don't do that.  These are the ones who taught you to be what you are now, so at least you owe them that much.

Humility with your students:

Beware, you who call others for Allah, be humble in what you say.  Many young people have tried to guide their friends by making fun of them the whole time saying, "You're still a beginner. You're so naïve,” etc.  Beware of that!  That way, you will be the cause of making people reject our religion and reason for them avoiding the company of devout Muslims.  Be patient and treat those you want to guide with care and concern.

Humility with our parents:

Allah says, "And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy." (TMQ, 17:24).  If your parents were alive, would you kiss their hands?  Can you kiss your mother's hands in public?  This is one of the signs of humility.  If they are not living anymore, then ask forgiveness for them and do something good with your life, something that can be added to their book of good deeds.

If you want to be a humble person, please try all the above for just one month and you will see how easily it will come to you.  Just try kissing your mother's hands and, by Allah, you will learn by just that small act how to be humble before Allah (AWJ)[23].

The best of humility:

This is your humility to your Lord.  Don't brag or patronize others or show-off just because you attend religion lessons, or just because you are wearing hijab[24], or just because you are dutiful while so many are not.  Allah says, “And do not through giving seek thyself to gain,” (TMQ, 74:6).  Lower yourself and bow down to your Lord because you are all-made through His goodness and blessings.

All of the above are examples for humility, but they are not everything.  Think of yourself and try to visualize ways by which to humble yourself in front of your Creator.  Think of Allah (AWJ) and His abilities and blessings; this will be enough to make you feel small and insignificant.  Feel how in need you are to this Great Creator and you will be humble.  Look how Great He is and you will feel your smallness.  But how can we practice this exercise in real life?

-        Go have a meal with one of the workers who are subordinate to you, or even with the office boys. 

-        Make your servants sit and eat with you. 

-        Teach the Qur’an to someone poor and needy. 

-        Sit and talk with the poor people. 

-        Set one day per week for washing all the dishes. 

-        Get down on your knees and kiss your mother’s hand

-        Just look for anything that you would usually feel too lofty to do and do it.  This is the best way to tame your soul and teach it humility.  Look for anything that has filled you so much with pride that you couldn’t part with it anymore and modify it to discipline yourself.

But how do I know that I have become humble?  Here is what you should do:

-        Ask someone to find out your servant’s opinion of you.

-        Ask someone to discover your friends’ opinions of you.

-        What do the poor people say about you, especially those who live next to you?

Let me end this lesson with a small reminder: “He who has in his heart the weight of a mustard seed of pride shall not enter paradise…”

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