Paradise in Our Home

Episode 25

In the name of Allah[1], the All-Merciful, the Ever-Merciful.  Peace and blessings of Allah be upon Prophet Muhammad (SAWS)[2].

Our episode yesterday was especially dedicated to the youth.  Today, we are to continue with the same subject.  We were speaking about choosing friends.  We set a basic rule: “choose a righteous friend”.

Choosing a friend has an effect on you in three aspects: your future, the relationship with your family, and the relationship with Allah (SWT)[3].  There are three types of friends: a friend who lures you into evil, a passive unwary friend who neither lures you into evil nor encourages you to do good deeds and a third righteous friend who helps you become a better person.

This third type of friend has three characteristics.  He cares for his future and aspires success, cares for and respects his family, and cares for his relationship with Allah (SWT) and always tries to satisfy Him.  I advised you to search for this type of friends, as you really need this.

Even Prophets needed righteous friends.  When Allah (SWT) revealed His message to Prophet Muhammad (SAWS), he endowed him with a gift, his friend Abu-Bakr (RA)[4].  Allah (SWT) says what can be translated as, “And (suffer) yourself to (endure) patiently with the ones who invoke their Lord in the early morning and nightfall, willing to seek His Face, and do not let your eyes go past them, (i.e., overlook them) willing (to gain) the adornment of the present life; (Literally: the lowly life, i.e., the life of this world).” (TMQ, 18:28)[5]. 

This means that we should seek the friendship of those people worshipping Allah (SWT) and be patient with them.

Another example was Prophet Musa (AS)[6] (Moses).  When Allah (SWT) said to him, what can be translated as, “Go to Firaawn; (Pharaoh) surely he has tyrannized.”  (TMQ, 20:24), he replied, what Allah narrates in the Ever-Glorious Qur’an and can be translated as, “Lord!  Expand my breast, And ease for me my Command, (Or: my affair).  And loosen a knot from my tongue, that they may comprehend my saying.”  (TMQ, 20:25-28).  He also needed one more thing, “And make for me a counselor of my family, Harû‍n, (Aaron) my brother.  Uphold my back (i.e., confirm my strength) by him, And associate him with me in my Command (Or: my affair).  That we may extol You much, And remember You much.”  (TMQ, 20:29-34)

Now, if you have different types of friends, how should you deal with each type?

First, you should try to leave your evil friend of the first type.  If all your friends are of this type, leave them for a while.  I do not ask you to fight with and forsake them.  Just keep yourself away for a while and keep contact with them every now and then.  However, if you are starting to become a bit better and think you could save them, they will spoil you and you will not save them.

I knew many examples like that.  Someone stayed away for sometime until he became strong enough and had a group of righteous friends.  Then, he introduced his old friends gradually to that group until they all became one righteous group.  This even happened to me. 

What about the passive unwary friend?  You should keep his friendship, but you still need a righteous friend to help you save him.  When your passive friend finds both of you improving yourselves, he will follow in your steps. 

Allah (SWT) says about Abu-Bakr, what can be translated as, “The second of two, as the two were in the cavern, as he said to his companion, ‘Grieve not; surely Allah is with us.’”  (TMQ, 9:40).

Futhermore, in al-israa and al-mi’raj [7], the Prophet (SAWS) did not go alone.  Jibril (AS) (Gabriel) went with him.

Allah (SWT) says what can be translated as, “And the ones who were pious to their Lord will be driven in hordes to the Garden.” (TMQ, 39:73).  Nobody will enter jannah (Paradise) alone while his friends are in hellfire.  Friends help each other, so they will be with each other.

Since the Prophet (SAWS) knew the importance of friendship, the first thing he did in Madinah[8] was establishing unity between muhajireen (immigrants) and Al-Ansar (The Supporters)[9].  This was the first keystone of a strong society.  Even before that, in Makkah, the Prophet (SAWS) made the muhajireen treat each other as brothers. The Prophet was keen on having both brothers of similar social status to enforce their intimacy. 

Islam is a great religion as it provides you with circles of support to save you, starting from your parents to your extended family to your friends.  These circles provide the advice and support that keeps you away from Satan and helps you choose righteous friends.

Both al-Ansar and muhajireen were inheriting each other for two and a half years because not all families had believed in Islam.  After the Battle of Badr, an ayah was revealed where Allah says what can be translated as, “And those related by blood (Literally: related by (birth) wombs; endowed with near kinship) are worthier of patronizing one another (Literally: some of them patronizing some (others) in the Book of Allah,” (TMQ, 33:6).

You are searching for a righteous friend to guide and support you.  Wherever you go, you can find him.  You just need to supplicate and search to find him.

If you do not find a righteous friend, go to a moderate friend of yours –for example, a cousin.  Say to him or her, “We have been friends for long time.  Let us be brothers or sisters in Allah.”

What does this mean?  The Prophet (SAWS) did not use the term ‘righteous friendship’.  He called it brother-hood in Allah.  Allah (SWT) says what can be translated as, “Surely the believers are only brothers;” (TMQ, 49:10).  He also says what can be translated as, “And adhere firmly to the Rope (i.e. the Covenant of Allah=the Qur’an) of Allah, altogether, and do not be disunited; and remember the favor of Allah upon you as you were enemies, then He brought your hearts together, (Literally: joined “between”) so you have become brethren by His favor.”  (TMQ, 3:103).  He says what can be translated as, “And He has brought their hearts together (Literally: joined “between” their hearts).  If you had expended whatever is in the earth altogether, in no way could you have brought their hearts together; but Allah has brought them together; surely He is Ever-Mighty, Ever-Wise.”  (TMQ, 8:63).  How lucky will you be when you have someone you love in Allah and join him in doing good deeds.  The previous ayah[10] implies that this gift is greater then wealth.

I want you to pay attention to a very important thing, which is that we are full of emotions.  Let us imagine that these emotions are to be released.  Islam gave us an outing to let go of these emotions in constructive brother-hood relation where Muslims could build and reform the earth.  However, Satan wants us to let it out through extramarital relationships.  About 90% of songs, video clips, movies, and TV series deal with a man loving a woman as if there were no other types of emotions or relations.  Is this a coincidence or a plan? 

There are many ahadith[11] said by the Prophet (SAWS) about the reward for the one who has a friend or a brother in Allah. 

The Prophet (SAWS) said that around the Throne there are pulpits of light on which there are people dressed in shining clothes and their faces are shining.  They are neither prophets nor martyrs, but prophets and martyrs wished to take their position.  The companions wondered who they might be, so he said that they are people who loved each other in Allah.  When they meet, they obey Him and when they leave each other, they obey Him.

Another hadith by the Prophet (SAWS) was that Allah (SWT) promised His love for those who love each other for His Majesty, those who meet for His sake, and those who visit each other for His sake.

Also, Prophet Muhammad (SAWS) said that Allah (TWT) would call on the Day of Judgment for those who love each other for His sake to keep them under the shade of His Throne. 

Brother-hood is like fabric, which holds the society together, so Satan cannot capture you as long as your brother is supporting you.

The Prophet said that there would be seven types of people, whom Allah would keep under the shade of His Throne on Judgment Day, when there would be no shade but His.  On that day, the sun would come close to the earth and people’s sweat would reach their heels, knees, necks or even their mouths.  One of these seven types of people would be two men or women who meet and leave one another obeying Allah.

This does not mean that they should be strict or gloomy.  They can enjoy their time, having in their minds the purpose of obeying Allah.

The Prophet (SAWS) said that whenever two persons loved one another in Allah, the one who loved the other more would be more loved by Allah.

He also said that whenever two brothers meet and shake hands, sins fall from them as tree leaves fall in the winter.

Another hadith was that whoever has a brother in Allah he would ascend a degree in jannah, which he cannot reach through his deeds.

Omar Ibnul-Khattab (RA) said, “Whoever feels affection from his brother should adhere to him, because it seldom happens.”  You will not find a friend everyday.

The Prophet (SAWS) said that everyone would be gathered on the Day of Judgment with the one he loved.  The Companions (RA) became happy because they love the Prophet (SAWS).  What about you?  Who you will be gathered with?

One day, the Prophet (SAWS) entered the mosque, went to Abu-Bakr and held his hand.  Then, he went to Omar and held his hand.  Then, he stood and raised their hands up height and said that, this is the way they would be resurrected on the Day of Judgment.  Do you yearn for brother-hood now?

In another hadith, he asked the Companions about the most binding Grip of faith.  They answered that it was prayers or zakat[12] (mandatory alms-giving).  He said that it was brother-hood in Allah.

Abdullah Ibn-Omar Ibnul-Khattab perceived that and said, “By Allah, if I fast all the day, pray all the night, spend all my money for Allah’s sake, and die without love for a brother in Allah, all this will not help me.”

One more hadith is that there are three conditions for tasting the sweetness of faith.  One of these three is to love someone only for the sake of Allah.  There are much more ahadith speaking about this issue.

Now, who will turn immediately to his nearest friend and ask him or her to become righteous friends and brothers or sisters in Allah. 

I hope that thousands send to us telling us what they did and we will publish some ideas for them on the internet to keep their brother-hood and sisterhood strong.    

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