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Paradise in Our Homes
Episode 18
In the name of Allah, The All-Merciful, The Ever-Merciful. All Prayers and Blessings of Allah be upon our master, the most noble Prophet Muhammad (SAWS). Welcome to a new episode of our program. We have been addressing parents to urge fathers and mothers to befriend their children, be compassionate and respect them. So wee decided to address youth in this episode to guide them in treating their parents and in being dutiful towards them. I wish that we will worship Allah during and after Ramadan by being dutiful to our parents.
Allah may accept us in the Night of Determination and release us from hellfire by trying to be dutiful to our parents. Hence, today we will help youth to please Allah through being dutiful to their parents. Remember that the aim of our program is to return compassion and tenderness to our families instead of living in estrangement and isolation.
Actually, youth are isolated from their parents in many ways. For example, lack of communication between youth and their parents, they rather spend most of their time talking to their friends or chatting through the internet. Also, youth neither consult their parents nor listen to their advices; they do not even show interest in what their parents say though they may accept the very same advice from a friend. Youth may even criticize their parents' behavior openly and in a way that might hurt their feelings. Another example, feeling ungarteful towards parents instead of appreciating them. Some youth would not mind if their friend insults their parents, they would consider it a joke, though we all know that the Prophet (SAWS) considered swearing at one's parents as one of the terrible sins.
When Bilal (RA) was once insulted for his mother being a slave, the Prophet (SAWS) considered this person ignorant. As a result, this man asked Bilal forgiveness for the Prophet (SAWS) to forgive him. Harsh look to one of the parents or door slam before them are all forms of being isolated away from them.
All these forms represent undutifulness to parents. Being undutiful is harder than being disobedient as it shows beingundutiful to Allah too. Those who areundutiful to their parents usually live unpleasant lives. I am not only addressing youth but those who are married and have children or live abroad as well. Many of them neglect their parents as a result of being busy in their life. We should be comapassionate towards our parents to gain jannah (Paradise).
Consequently, our roles towards our parents could be summarized in seven points:
- Consult them in every thing and listen to their advice even if you feel that you do not need it or that you already took your decision. They are the source of every blessing that you might gain. This will make them feel their valueand consequently feel content.
- Tolerate their behavior towards you or others even if you do not like it . Do not ever show impatience, anger and do not utter ugh in their face. Allah (SWT) said what can be translated as, " …do not say to them, “Fie!” nor scold them; and speak to them respectful words (Literally: say to them an honorable saying)." (TMQ, 17:23). Even if they do something wrong, indirectly instruct them or ask someone else to do this. The Prophet (SAWS) mentioned that whoever looks to his father or mother harshly is undutiful to him.
- Ask about them and be interested in what they are interested in. For example, if your father is interested in football while you are not, pretend that you are interested to please him. If your mother likes to go to a certain restaurant, you should go with her even if you do not like it.
- Help them, even if you are busy, you can do this every now and then. You can wash your father's car or drive your mother to the doctor.
- Be the source of their happiness and make them smile. Make them smile during Ramadan by telling them a joke, a tender word or by telling them that you love them, to gain many blessings at the end of Ramadan. Kiss their hands and never break their hearts. The Prophet (SAWS) was known for his compassion as well as his generosity. However, he (SAWS) was more generous during Ramadan. By the way, if we show our love to our parents, they will consequently love each other more and hence divorce rates will draw back.
- Ask about their friends and relatives even byphone.
- Make dua’a (supplication) for them whether they are still alive or have passed away.
If we wish to catch up with the Night of Determination, gain many blessings, attain Allah's satisfaction or even be happy in our marriage, we should stop being isolated from our parents. We have to get closer to them and stop criticizing their behavior even if they are full of mistakes.
On the other hand, if we continue to be undutiful to our parents, Allah's anger will be sever. For example, we may lose the brightness in our faces and live a life full of troubles. That is why the Prophet (SAWS) told us that every one should love his father. Otherwise, Allah will take away the brightness in his face and will lead a miserable life. The prophet (SAWS) also said that if a person catches up with his parents while they are old, yet he does not serve them, he will be humiliated and will not enter jannah. Those whom their fathers or mothers died will grasp the meaning. This shows that the shortest way to jannah is to be dutiful to our parents.
Also, the Prophet (SAWS) considered cutting off kinship ties and being undutiful to parents the only two sins that cause punishment in the worldly life as well as the hereafter. Additionally, he (SAWS) will disavow those who look to their parents harshly in the Day of Judgment. Now imagine the situation of the one who slams the door before their face, who never answers the call of his mother while she is worried about him, who neglects what his parents say, or who allows his friends to insult them.
One of the Prophet's (SAWS) companions could not pronounce shahadah though he was known for his devotion to Allah. When the Prophet (SAWS) new that his mother was still alive, he went to her to know if this companion was dutiful to her or not. When the Prophet (SAWS) asked her, she told him that her son used to bring his wife and children the good fruits and leave her the bad ones.
Do not ever leave your mother upset for a whole night because this will lead to Allah's anger. Imagine if she died at any moment, how would your life be after that? Or if you died at any moment, what would you say to Allah? A girl may have a boyfriend behind her parent's back or even they might know and she continues to know him against their will. Can't she feel to what extent would her father feel humiliated as a result of her stubborness?
When one of the companions of the Prophet (SAWS) once asked him about the good deeds most liked by Allah , the Prophet told him that he should perform his prayers at their exact time and be dutiful to his parents.
Thus, let us make our parents happy, let us help them, please them, consult them, visit their relatives and friends, ask Allah to help us accept their bad behavior and make dua’a for them. In the journey of al-israa and al-mi’raj, the Prophet (SAWS) noticed a nice palace full of joyful noises in jannah. When he (SAWS) asked whose palace was that someone replied that it was al-Haritha Ibnul-Nu'man's palace who was known for his dutifulness to his parents. The Prophet (SAWS) then said that this was the result of his dutifulness.
Another man once asked the Prophet (SAWS) about what should be done after embracing Islam. The Prophet (SAWS) then ordered him to be dutiful to his mother. When he came back to ask the Prophet (SAWS) to do something else, the Prohpet (SAWS) ordered him to be dutiful to his mother three times and in the fourth he (SAWS) ordered him to be dutiful to his father. The man then thought that this should be the best deed ever.
Allah ordered us to be dutiful to our parents not only to obey them, because dutifulness includes being tender, compassionate and responsible towards them. Thuswe should exert every effort in applying the previously mentioned seven points to please our parents.
We will resume the same subject tomorrow by the will of Allah.
TMQ=Translation of the Meaning of the Qur'an. This translation is for the realized meaning, so far, of the stated (Surah:Ayah) of the Qur'an. Reading the translated meaning of the Qur'an can never replace reading it in Arabic, the language in which it was revealed.
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