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Paradise in Our Homes
Episode 13
In the name of Allah
(God),
The All-Merciful, The Ever-Merciful, we praise Allah, and all Prayers and
Blessings of Allah be upon our master, Prophet Muhammad (SAWS).
Welcome back to resume Paradise in Our Homes. A scholar said that there is a
jannah
(Paradise) in life, he who does not enter it, will not enter jannah of
the hereafter. I say that perhaps the jannah of life is the jannah
of family and knowing Allah. Ramadan might join them together.The Prophet (SAWS)
says that when Ramadan comes, a caller calls on goodness seekers to come along
and on evil seekers to stay away. Ramadan is as flow and ebb. Flowing for
goodness, obeying Allah and loving the family, while ebbing for instincts,
isloation and sins. If the beginning of Ramadan is mercy, its mid is forgivenss
and its end is relief away from fire, then we are living the days of
forgiveness, so ask Allah for forgivenss bearing in mind that there are sins
that could not be erased except by looking after one’s own family.
In the previous episode we
agreed that emotion comes before mentality and to be more specific, you
should unconditionally love your son. Emotion is the magic stick of Musa (AS)
(Moses) which turned earth into sea and sea into a mountain. Therefore the magic
stick which will return your son to you is emotion.
Let us begin with the emotion of our Prophet (SAWS);
there was a man in Madinah
named Zaher, he was very strict and frowning and no one of the companions of the
Prophet (SAWS) liked dealing with. While Zaher was standing in the
souk
the Prophet (SAWS) stood behind him and put his arms around him. Zaher,
not knowing who was that, asked to be released , the Prophet (SAWS)
left him, Zaher turned around and saw that he was the Prophet (SAWS), he
said that nothing pleased him more than this touch between the Prophet’s body (SAWS)
and his own. Then the Prophet (SAWS) took Zaher’s hand and asked loudly
who would buy that slave. Zaher told him that he was a dead stock, the Prophet (SAWS)
told him that he was rather soexpensive to Allah.
How great was that, the Prophet
(SAWS) melted ice when he showed Zaher how much he was loved by
Allah and by himself. Here I want to say to fathers and mothers that it is not
enough to love your son or daughter, you should tell them that, you should also
unconditionally love them, why? Because if you love them for something in
return, they will resist and refuse this love.
One told me that he missed his
son as there was a speechless realtionship between them. I asked him, “ have you
ever told your son that you love him?” He said, “no”. I said, “ it is not enough
to love your son, you should tell him that”. Later on, the man told me
that he went to his son and told him that he loved him, but the son was not
interested and left him. The father cried and cried, I said, “ you should tell
him that you love him unconditionally in return of nothing, and that you will
love him forever.” Then the father did, his son believed him and they were
friends.
A doctor wished that his
son would be a doctor, but the son was somehow negligent and was not able to
get the marks that entitles him to be a doctor. He was sad but his
father told him that he will always unconditionally love him. The young man
succeeded in his studies and became a very successful man.
I know a mother whose son was a
drug addict always shouting and causing trouble. The doctor asked his mother
about the last time she told him that she loved him. The answer was
when he was a child. The doctor advised her to tell him that she loved him. The
mother says that at dinner she tried to say it but was not able to, then her son
asked her if she wanted to say something. She said that she loved him. The young
man cried and hugged her as he was longing for this kind of emotion.
I joined many camps where I
found young men comitting fatal mistakes, but instead of scolding them, I used
to tell them that I am the one to be blamed.. Therefore instead of concentrating
on the faults done by others, try to admit your own mistakes, this has a magical
influence on sons.
Another way is by writing. A
mother and a father found that their son was always illtempered sothey decided
to write messages and put them under his pillow in which they wrote the
following, “ Ahamd, we know that you are tense due to some annoying matters
and that we know nothing about your life now, but you have to know that we love
you so much waiting and ready to hear you whenever you want to talk.
Your loving father and mother”. Because he was obstinate, he did not ask them
about the source of these messages but read them alone, and on the other hand
his parents did not mention them. If a day comes and he does not find a
message, he will be ill tempered again.
Because of these messages,
adolescence passed with no problems and the young man told his parents that
his success was the result of these messages.
Yet I say, why wait till
the writing stage , why don’t you tell them that you love them? I say to young
men that there is no one dearer to your parents than youself.
Allah teaches us the emotion of
the mother when He tells us the story of Musa’s (AS) mother, he says what
can be translated as, “And
the heart-sight of Mûsa’s
mother became empty, (and) decidedly she indeed almost declared him, had We not
braced her heart, that she might be of the believers.”
(TMQ,
28:10).
When Allah talks to the Prophet
He says what can be translated as, “You have nothing to do concerning the
Command, (i.e. My Command)”. (TMQ, 3:128), but when He talks to the mother,
He says what can be translated as, “and do not fear, nor grieve. Surely We
will turn him back to you, and will make him one of the Emissaries.” (TMQ,
28:7).
Allah reminds us with the
emotion of the mother and says what can be translated as, “So We turned him
back to his mother so that she might comfort her eye and not grieve"
(TMQ, 28:13).
Also Allah mentions the emotion
of the father when telling us about Nuh (AS) and his son who was a
disbeliever, Allah says what can be translated as, “And Nûh
(Noah) called out to his Lord; so said, “Lord! Surely my son is of my family,
and surely Your promise is the truth, and You are The Most Judicious of judges.”
(TMQ, 11:45), Nuh (AS) asked Allah to save his son although he was a
disbeliever.
I know a young man who left his
house to Hurghada without telling his parents who were killed with worry. After
a month, his mother knew his place and went there but could not find him so she
posted his picture on each and every door writing under it that she loved
him and asking him to come back. He saw the picture and went back home. He was
surprised to find the door opened while his parents were asleep. He waked them
up while crying, and they were pleased. Then he asked about the opened door ,
they said that they were afraid that he might come back and leave if he finds
the door closed.
If the door of your parents is
opened, so what about Allah’s door who is more merciful than the most
kind-hearted mother. So, go back whenever you want and He will forgive you.
Let us build an emotion in
Ramadan with our sons and daughters. I have a last word about daughters. They do
need your hugs because they are filled with emotions. Let us look into the
emotion of the Prophet’s (SAWS)towards girls in a time when girls were
buried alive. He used to carry Zeinab’s daughter while he was praying because he
loved her and she was dear to him. He says that he who has three daughters,
teaches them well, he will be in Jannah, he was asked what if they were
just two, he said that he who has only two is also in Jannah. That is
because the girl is the one who brings the family together and she is then the
mother and the grandmother, so she brings up three generations.
The Prophet (SAWS) used to kiss
Fatema on her forehead and give her emotions according to her age.
I know many businessmen who are
like each other, not in religion, money or culture, but in their love to their
mothers.
At last I wonder if we will get
out of Ramadan and paradise is still in our homes.
TMQ=Translation
of the Meaning of the Qur'an. This translation is for the realized
meaning, so far, of the stated (Surah:Ayah) of the Qur'an. Reading
the translated meaning of the Qur'an can never replace reading it in
Arabic, the language in which it was revealed.
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